Outhouse wall for outhouse poets
This post is reserved for limericks and other poetry. I recommend that poetry already posted elsewhere on this blog be copied under this post.
This post has its own post label -- "Limericks and other poetry" -- and a link in the left sidebar.
The post title is a parody of Panda's Thumb's infamous Bathroom Wall, a dumping place for censored comments.
This post has its own post label -- "Limericks and other poetry" -- and a link in the left sidebar.
The post title is a parody of Panda's Thumb's infamous Bathroom Wall, a dumping place for censored comments.
Labels: Limericks and other poetry
posted by Larry Fafarman | 3/17/2007 03:01:00 AM
30 Comments:
There once was a jurist named Jones,
who had a head just full of bones.
The opinions he wrote
did nothing but quote,
and his rulings were nothing but clones.
There once was a jurist named Jones,
who was known as a real lazybones.
He could not disguise
that he did plagiarize,
and his rulings were nothing but clones.
A judge was named John Jones the Third,
his brain was like that of a bird.
His brain was so small,
it was nothing at all,
and his rulings were always absurd.
There once was a critic named Jim,
whose view of Judge Jones was quite dim.
When John Jones the Third
said something absurd,
Jim thought very little of him.
(new)
There once was a jurist named Jones,
who thought our ears came from jawbones.
But the human ear
is designed to hear,
and that's why we need not wear earphones.
But we do need to wear earphones. Why weren't we designed with SMT jacks?
pseudonymous said...
>>>>> But we do need to wear earphones. Why weren't we designed with SMT jacks? <<<<<
One reference says about hearing aids for totally or profoundly deaf people,
(. . . . cochlear implants are not the same thing as implantable hearing aids because cochlear implants use electricity to stimulate the auditory nerve while implantable hearing aids are regular hearing aids.) More deaf adults - culturally deaf or not - are choosing to get cochlear implants.
Also, there are seeing aids for the totally blind that are wired directly to their brains, giving them limited vision.
BTW, there is a story that Thomas Edison, the deaf inventor of the phonograph, listened to recordings by feeling the sound vibrations through his teeth. He told a famous violinist that a note on the violinist's recording was off-key. The violinist said that was impossible but verified that Edison was correct.
I don't understand why you find it necessary to post under other names. Your stuff is obvious.
I ran into these limericks by Jim Sherwood:
A ranter named P.Z.: "It's dumb
To question old theories, by gum!
For Darwin's the way
As we ideologues say
And surely that's science, in sum!"
"I'm John Jones, His Ruling Grace,
Who keeps all the 'low' in their place:
Should they doubt any word
From a Darwinist nerd
My riding-crop snaps in their face!"
This one is dedicated to Ed Brayton --
There once was a blogger named Ed,
who was known as a stupid fathead.
The stuff he did write,
on his blogging site,
was like a balloon filled with lead.
Out of "modesty" the clown is now posting as anonymous.
I admit it. I am Anonymous.
Here is another limerick by Jim Sherwood that I ran into:
A very great scientist named Hoyle
Had views that make Darwinists recoil:
For he held that blind strife
Had created no life
While intelligence did much of the toil!
(Posted by Jim Sherwood, Leaver's loyal ghostwriter.)
I tell you, we clearly must dread
INTELLIGENCE, just as I've said.
So Darwin's our dogma,
Just let it befog ya,
And forget about using your head.
A fool, who swallows each tale
That the Wikipedia doth rail:
"I'm unable to check
Any facts, for by heck,
A tree hit my head in a gale!"
Oh "Darwins," of "Pandas" and "Thumbs,"
How is it your folly succumbs
To nourish such fears
That you face with your rears
To the fore, as a wider view comes?
A reporter, Cornelia Dean:
"I believe in convention. I mean,
To question old Darwin
Is truly a far one:
I consider it fully obscene."
Said Dean, "There's no credible view
In all science, but Darwin is true!
For by 'credible' I mean
What most scientists are keen
To proclaim, when they haven't a clue."
She cried, "I'm a preacher for Dawkins
With his shrill materialist squawkin's.
So I think we're machines,
And clearly that means
We're basically gadgets from stock-bins."
LIMERICKS BY JIM SHERWOOD --
I think I'm getting a telepathic message on this one. Maybe it's from Peter Irons, the ACLU's favorite "Darwin-only" lawyer?
Said Peter the Lawyer, "I'll sue
All dissident school boards in view!
For the kids have no notion
Of Darwinist devotion:
They see there's no sign that it's true.
"Since thinkers are losing belief
In Darwin, I'll sneak like a thief
To rob the taxpayers,
(Those Darwin-naysayers),
With my suits! And give 'em some grief.
"I'm sure that I'll totally ruin
Those goddamn citizens I'm suin':
If they think they can question
Some Darwinist suggestion,
Their freedom of thought's their undoin',
"For I hold in my hands a writ:
'UN-DARWIN SCIENTISTS, GIT!'
It's signed by Judge Jones,
Our Caesar, whose throne's
Almighty. He's ruler. That's it!"
More from Jim Sherwood:
Our Darwinist dogma must be
The Indubitable One Prophecy!
So we swagger and strut,
Yet get kicked in the butt
By Behe! Whence cometh ID?!?
(Posted by Jim Sherwood, Leaver's faithful ghostwriter.)
"That Larry's conjuring my ghost
From the tomb! For his blog is the most
Enchanting around.
My theory's unsound!
So I'm floating, enraged, by a post!"
(Let's add that the above comment was apparently made in a seance, by a spirit named "Charles Darwin.")
Cried Jones, "I'm getting support
From some Jews, at latest report!
If I garner the vote
Of more factions of note,
I'll be Caesar? And rule every court?"
-- by Jim Sherwood
from
http://im-from-missouri.blogspot.com/2007/12/more-breathtaking-inanity-from-judge.html
There once was a judge who had news
of getting some help from the Jews.
"They're helping me out,"
he said with a shout,
"by helping to tighten the screws."
Good limerick, Larry!
A BRIEF HISTORY OF HERESY
From Fred Hoyle to Larry Fafarman:
By Jim Sherwood --
So listen, our Darwinists: you shall hear
A story to stir your mightiest fear!
In the 70's arose a "ghastly plot,"
Old Hoyle did speak, and Grasse, and a lot:
Said Grasse, "A pseudoscience has come
From Darwin! These daydreams are totally numb."
And Hoyle: "We find no credible sign
Of life except by mindful design!"
Then Denton delivered a blow to that "saint,"
Old Darwin (whose theory's less sound than it's quaint,)
And Behe observed that life's so complex
That chance and selection run into checks:
What's "irreducible," selection can't do
So easily, comes the growing view,
For biochemistry finds such things
In life, complexities running in rings.
Then Johnson: "The notions that underlie
This Darwinist view are a very far cry
From science, which needs objective tests,
Not naturalist dogma, on which this rests."
And Dembski: "By math and by logic we show
That life by design is validly so."
Then Berlinski hammered the table hard:
"We must be skeptics in Darwin's regard!"
O'Leary added, "History shows,
Wherever we look, the issue grows:
It's perfectly clear, we must define
A rising debate: BY CHANCE OR DESIGN?"
Our ignorant paranoids chanted a cry:
"Creationists coming! Theocracy's nigh!"
And so "Ruling Jones" whipped out a whip
To herd all the kids, lest Darwin should slip!
But Larry noted that Jones isn't cool:
He's a goofy ruler with scarcely a rule
To guide his blunder, his folly and flaw
As he ignores fact and disregards law;
He preaches his doctrine, he prances and cries
On the lecture circuit in legal disguise;
He'd come to your town, and ruin your school:
It's lucky that Larry has proved he's a fool!
Eugenie exclaimed, "Go to Hell
With your Constitution! I'll tell
Each laddie and lass,
In biology class,
Which religions are perfectly swell!"
-- by Jim Sherwood
One Yoko, who's Loco, said "No!
I IMAGINE I'm losing some dough.
My only obsessions's
With all the possessions
That Strawberry Fields can grow."
Said Yoko, "I'm free of all greed!
I IMAGINE, as Johnny decreed,
I'll let property go.
I'll go Loco, and know
How to peck with the birds, as they feed."
Poem by Jim Sherwood --
Old Darwin's fall we may in this behold,
That Darwin-trolls, in rabid packs, do run
Around this blog where Larry offers gold
In comments that the foolish idly shun.
"He censors, bans," they say: "He's this; or such."
An where's the evidence? I think they lie,
And lying in wait, beguile the fools too much,
As fooling, they fake: then cry a baboon-cry.
Who, when these species, simian, shall display
Their Darwin-worship, hooting, void of heed,
Shall be the one to chase them all away,
And save our discourse from their lowly breed?
Oh, none: unless this miracle take hold,
That trolls grow wise, so wisdom may unfold.
I actually removed this sonnet (above)because of a typo: it's supposed to read "And where's the evidence?" But I'll repost it sometime.
A rat, that nested very near
A keyboard, said: "I'm living here
To get the Net, to sniff, and click
To Larry's blog! My dirty trick?
To say he censors, bans, or try
Some other long-disproven lie:
For Darwin tells me that to steal
And rip's the all-creating deal!
So thus I'll foster wonders, see,
By creeping low and lousily
Along the Web. My mindless goal?
To bite at Larry. I'm a troll!
I parrot the words of that PZ,
Because...well, repeating is easy,
While thinking is hard!
So in PZ's regard,
Who cares if he's stupid and sleazy?
(The comments of my friend Leaver, who's a troll, were posted by his hard-scribbling ghostwriter-- Jim Sherwood.)
I'm bearing a lance for that Larry,
Who smashes the "Darwins." It's merry!
He has to have guts,
To kick all the butts
Of those fascists, whose rule would be scary.
(Sancho, from Spain, is a bullfighter who fights all forms of bull, such as Darwinism. He is eager to be Larry's squire. -Jim Sherwood.)
A biologist, of much repute,
Declared, "I'll fully refute
All heresy, and show
MY DARWIN would know
Quite well how species transmute.
It happened like this: in a bird
Or a beast, mutations occurred
By chance, and through these,
In gradual degrees,
Arose a Darwinist nerd:
For, in a process of slaughter,
Selection has simply 'got ter'
Prefer any geek,
Or Darwinist freak,
Who's a fully scatterbrained rotter."
Pol Pot's Ghost Said...
Old Darwin claimed that blind strife
Has somehow created all life.
I'll honor his creed,
For with it, no need
For intelligence: chaos is rife,
So I'll rip up the system, and kill
Its defenders. Destroy them. I will.
Old Darwin's the way
To our Marxism! Say,
How much blood his dogma will spill,
For if humans are simply machines
Created by death, why, that means
We can break a few "eggs"
When our purpose thus begs
For slaughter. It's all in our genes.
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