I'm from Missouri

This site is named for the famous statement of US Congressman Willard Duncan Vandiver from Missouri : "I`m from Missouri -- you'll have to show me." This site is dedicated to skepticism of official dogma in all subjects. Just-so stories are not accepted here. This is a site where controversial subjects such as evolution theory and the Holocaust may be freely debated.

Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

My biggest motivation for creating my own blogs was to avoid the arbitrary censorship practiced by other blogs and various other Internet forums. Censorship will be avoided in my blogs -- there will be no deletion of comments, no closing of comment threads, no holding up of comments for moderation, and no commenter registration hassles. Comments containing nothing but insults and/or ad hominem attacks are discouraged. My non-response to a particular comment should not be interpreted as agreement, approval, or inability to answer.

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Outhouse wall for outhouse poets

This post is reserved for limericks and other poetry. I recommend that poetry already posted elsewhere on this blog be copied under this post.

This post has its own post label -- "Limericks and other poetry" -- and a link in the left sidebar.

The post title is a parody of Panda's Thumb's infamous Bathroom Wall, a dumping place for censored comments.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

There once was a jurist named Jones,
who had a head just full of bones.
The opinions he wrote
did nothing but quote,
and his rulings were nothing but clones.

There once was a jurist named Jones,
who was known as a real lazybones.
He could not disguise
that he did plagiarize,
and his rulings were nothing but clones.

A judge was named John Jones the Third,
his brain was like that of a bird.
His brain was so small,
it was nothing at all,
and his rulings were always absurd.

There once was a critic named Jim,
whose view of Judge Jones was quite dim.
When John Jones the Third
said something absurd,
Jim thought very little of him.

There once was a jurist named Jones,
who thought our ears came from jawbones.
But the human ear
is designed to hear,
and that's why we need not wear earphones.

Saturday, March 17, 2007 9:34:00 AM  
Anonymous pseudonymous said...

But we do need to wear earphones. Why weren't we designed with SMT jacks?

Saturday, March 17, 2007 9:47:00 AM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

pseudonymous said...

>>>>> But we do need to wear earphones. Why weren't we designed with SMT jacks? <<<<<

One reference says about hearing aids for totally or profoundly deaf people,

(. . . . cochlear implants are not the same thing as implantable hearing aids because cochlear implants use electricity to stimulate the auditory nerve while implantable hearing aids are regular hearing aids.) More deaf adults - culturally deaf or not - are choosing to get cochlear implants.

Also, there are seeing aids for the totally blind that are wired directly to their brains, giving them limited vision.

BTW, there is a story that Thomas Edison, the deaf inventor of the phonograph, listened to recordings by feeling the sound vibrations through his teeth. He told a famous violinist that a note on the violinist's recording was off-key. The violinist said that was impossible but verified that Edison was correct.

Saturday, March 17, 2007 10:23:00 AM  
Anonymous voice in the wilderness said...

I don't understand why you find it necessary to post under other names. Your stuff is obvious.

Sunday, March 18, 2007 9:27:00 AM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

>>>> I don't understand why you find it necessary to post under other names. <<<<<<

You stupid idiot, I was trying to be modest.

Sunday, March 18, 2007 9:46:00 PM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

I ran into these limericks by Jim Sherwood:

A ranter named P.Z.: "It's dumb
To question old theories, by gum!
For Darwin's the way
As we ideologues say
And surely that's science, in sum!"

"I'm John Jones, His Ruling Grace,
Who keeps all the 'low' in their place:
Should they doubt any word
From a Darwinist nerd
My riding-crop snaps in their face!"

Sunday, March 18, 2007 11:31:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This one is dedicated to Ed Brayton --

There once was a blogger named Ed,
who was known as a stupid fathead.
The stuff he did write,
on his blogging site,
was like a balloon filled with lead.

Monday, March 19, 2007 8:24:00 AM  
Anonymous Voice in the Wilderness said...

Out of "modesty" the clown is now posting as anonymous.

Monday, March 19, 2007 9:21:00 AM  
Anonymous Jim Sherwood said...

I admit it. I am Anonymous.

Friday, March 23, 2007 11:40:00 AM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

Here is another limerick by Jim Sherwood that I ran into:

A very great scientist named Hoyle
Had views that make Darwinists recoil:
For he held that blind strife
Had created no life
While intelligence did much of the toil!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 1:47:00 AM  
Anonymous Darwin B. Leaver said...

(Posted by Jim Sherwood, Leaver's loyal ghostwriter.)

I tell you, we clearly must dread
INTELLIGENCE, just as I've said.
So Darwin's our dogma,
Just let it befog ya,
And forget about using your head.

Friday, July 06, 2007 2:35:00 PM  
Anonymous Jim Sherwood said...

A fool, who swallows each tale
That the Wikipedia doth rail:
"I'm unable to check
Any facts, for by heck,
A tree hit my head in a gale!"

Saturday, July 07, 2007 1:49:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

Oh "Darwins," of "Pandas" and "Thumbs,"
How is it your folly succumbs
To nourish such fears
That you face with your rears
To the fore, as a wider view comes?

Wednesday, September 19, 2007 4:19:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

A reporter, Cornelia Dean:
"I believe in convention. I mean,
To question old Darwin
Is truly a far one:
I consider it fully obscene."

Said Dean, "There's no credible view
In all science, but Darwin is true!
For by 'credible' I mean
What most scientists are keen
To proclaim, when they haven't a clue."

She cried, "I'm a preacher for Dawkins
With his shrill materialist squawkin's.
So I think we're machines,
And clearly that means
We're basically gadgets from stock-bins."

Sunday, October 21, 2007 3:53:00 PM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...


I think I'm getting a telepathic message on this one. Maybe it's from Peter Irons, the ACLU's favorite "Darwin-only" lawyer?

Said Peter the Lawyer, "I'll sue
All dissident school boards in view!
For the kids have no notion
Of Darwinist devotion:
They see there's no sign that it's true.

"Since thinkers are losing belief
In Darwin, I'll sneak like a thief
To rob the taxpayers,
(Those Darwin-naysayers),
With my suits! And give 'em some grief.

"I'm sure that I'll totally ruin
Those goddamn citizens I'm suin':
If they think they can question
Some Darwinist suggestion,
Their freedom of thought's their undoin',

"For I hold in my hands a writ:
It's signed by Judge Jones,
Our Caesar, whose throne's
Almighty. He's ruler. That's it!"

Monday, December 03, 2007 4:21:00 PM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

More from Jim Sherwood:

Our Darwinist dogma must be
The Indubitable One Prophecy!
So we swagger and strut,
Yet get kicked in the butt
By Behe! Whence cometh ID?!?

(Posted by Jim Sherwood, Leaver's faithful ghostwriter.)

"That Larry's conjuring my ghost
From the tomb! For his blog is the most
Enchanting around.
My theory's unsound!
So I'm floating, enraged, by a post!"

Monday, December 10, 2007 4:53:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

(Let's add that the above comment was apparently made in a seance, by a spirit named "Charles Darwin.")

Wednesday, December 12, 2007 3:31:00 PM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

Cried Jones, "I'm getting support
From some Jews, at latest report!
If I garner the vote
Of more factions of note,
I'll be Caesar? And rule every court?"

-- by Jim Sherwood

Tuesday, January 01, 2008 12:09:00 AM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

There once was a judge who had news
of getting some help from the Jews.
"They're helping me out,"
he said with a shout,
"by helping to tighten the screws."

Wednesday, January 09, 2008 9:51:00 AM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

Good limerick, Larry!

Saturday, January 19, 2008 1:02:00 PM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

From Fred Hoyle to Larry Fafarman:
By Jim Sherwood --

So listen, our Darwinists: you shall hear
A story to stir your mightiest fear!
In the 70's arose a "ghastly plot,"
Old Hoyle did speak, and Grasse, and a lot:

Said Grasse, "A pseudoscience has come
From Darwin! These daydreams are totally numb."
And Hoyle: "We find no credible sign
Of life except by mindful design!"

Then Denton delivered a blow to that "saint,"
Old Darwin (whose theory's less sound than it's quaint,)
And Behe observed that life's so complex
That chance and selection run into checks:

What's "irreducible," selection can't do
So easily, comes the growing view,
For biochemistry finds such things
In life, complexities running in rings.

Then Johnson: "The notions that underlie
This Darwinist view are a very far cry
From science, which needs objective tests,
Not naturalist dogma, on which this rests."

And Dembski: "By math and by logic we show
That life by design is validly so."
Then Berlinski hammered the table hard:
"We must be skeptics in Darwin's regard!"

O'Leary added, "History shows,
Wherever we look, the issue grows:
It's perfectly clear, we must define
A rising debate: BY CHANCE OR DESIGN?"

Our ignorant paranoids chanted a cry:
"Creationists coming! Theocracy's nigh!"
And so "Ruling Jones" whipped out a whip
To herd all the kids, lest Darwin should slip!

But Larry noted that Jones isn't cool:
He's a goofy ruler with scarcely a rule
To guide his blunder, his folly and flaw
As he ignores fact and disregards law;

He preaches his doctrine, he prances and cries
On the lecture circuit in legal disguise;
He'd come to your town, and ruin your school:
It's lucky that Larry has proved he's a fool!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008 5:00:00 PM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

Eugenie exclaimed, "Go to Hell
With your Constitution! I'll tell
Each laddie and lass,
In biology class,
Which religions are perfectly swell!"

-- by Jim Sherwood

Sunday, April 20, 2008 1:41:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

One Yoko, who's Loco, said "No!
I IMAGINE I'm losing some dough.
My only obsessions's
With all the possessions
That Strawberry Fields can grow."

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 4:15:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

Said Yoko, "I'm free of all greed!
I IMAGINE, as Johnny decreed,
I'll let property go.
I'll go Loco, and know
How to peck with the birds, as they feed."

Wednesday, April 30, 2008 4:19:00 PM  
Blogger Larry Fafarman said...

Poem by Jim Sherwood --

Old Darwin's fall we may in this behold,
That Darwin-trolls, in rabid packs, do run
Around this blog where Larry offers gold
In comments that the foolish idly shun.
"He censors, bans," they say: "He's this; or such."
An where's the evidence? I think they lie,
And lying in wait, beguile the fools too much,
As fooling, they fake: then cry a baboon-cry.
Who, when these species, simian, shall display
Their Darwin-worship, hooting, void of heed,
Shall be the one to chase them all away,
And save our discourse from their lowly breed?
Oh, none: unless this miracle take hold,
That trolls grow wise, so wisdom may unfold.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008 12:38:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

I actually removed this sonnet (above)because of a typo: it's supposed to read "And where's the evidence?" But I'll repost it sometime.

Thursday, May 15, 2008 3:12:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

A rat, that nested very near
A keyboard, said: "I'm living here

To get the Net, to sniff, and click
To Larry's blog! My dirty trick?

To say he censors, bans, or try
Some other long-disproven lie:

For Darwin tells me that to steal
And rip's the all-creating deal!

So thus I'll foster wonders, see,
By creeping low and lousily

Along the Web. My mindless goal?
To bite at Larry. I'm a troll!

Thursday, May 15, 2008 3:20:00 PM  
Anonymous Darwin B. Leaver said...

I parrot the words of that PZ,
Because...well, repeating is easy,
While thinking is hard!
So in PZ's regard,
Who cares if he's stupid and sleazy?

(The comments of my friend Leaver, who's a troll, were posted by his hard-scribbling ghostwriter-- Jim Sherwood.)

Tuesday, August 05, 2008 5:14:00 PM  
Anonymous Sancho Panza said...

I'm bearing a lance for that Larry,
Who smashes the "Darwins." It's merry!
He has to have guts,
To kick all the butts
Of those fascists, whose rule would be scary.

(Sancho, from Spain, is a bullfighter who fights all forms of bull, such as Darwinism. He is eager to be Larry's squire. -Jim Sherwood.)

Wednesday, August 27, 2008 4:55:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

A biologist, of much repute,
Declared, "I'll fully refute
All heresy, and show
MY DARWIN would know
Quite well how species transmute.

It happened like this: in a bird
Or a beast, mutations occurred
By chance, and through these,
In gradual degrees,
Arose a Darwinist nerd:

For, in a process of slaughter,
Selection has simply 'got ter'
Prefer any geek,
Or Darwinist freak,
Who's a fully scatterbrained rotter."

Saturday, November 22, 2008 4:40:00 PM  
Blogger Jim Sherwood said...

Pol Pot's Ghost Said...

Old Darwin claimed that blind strife
Has somehow created all life.
I'll honor his creed,
For with it, no need
For intelligence: chaos is rife,

So I'll rip up the system, and kill
Its defenders. Destroy them. I will.
Old Darwin's the way
To our Marxism! Say,
How much blood his dogma will spill,

For if humans are simply machines
Created by death, why, that means
We can break a few "eggs"
When our purpose thus begs
For slaughter. It's all in our genes.

Saturday, November 29, 2008 4:28:00 PM  

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